sldkjfalksj Tag Archives: be a good neighbor

Bullying

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About Bullying.

Bullying or cyberbullying is when one child repeatedly taunts, teases, intimidates, or torments another child. These actions can be physical, verbal, or social. Bullying can occur at school, on the playground, on the school bus, in the neighborhood, over the Internet, or through mobile devices like cell phones. Being subjected to bullying is a horrible experience for anyone, but especially difficult for a child.

With school back in session in a few short weeks, we thought it might be helpful to bring this important topic front of mind.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS BULLIED

There are several steps you can follow in the event your child is subjected to bullying.

  • Alert school officials and work with them in person toward a solution.
  • Teach your child when and how to ask a trusted adult for help, and to be comfortable with doing so. Ask them to identify who they can ask for help.
  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings about being bullied and recognize the serious nature of bullying.

Help your child learn how to respond by teaching your child how to:

  • Look the bully in the eye.
  • Always stand tall and stay calm despite the difficulty of the situation.
  • Walk away.
  • With your child, practice saying, in a firm voice:
    • “I don’t like what you are doing.”
    • “Please do NOT talk to me like that.”

What you can do as a parent:

  • Encourage your child to make friends with other children.
  • Support outside activities that interest your child.
  • Find an adult who knows about the situation and can watch out for your child’s safety and well-being when you cannot be there.
  • Monitor your child’s social media or texting interactions so you can identify problems before they get out of hand.
  • Document everything.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS THE BULLY

This is tough on any parent but cannot be ignored.

  • Be sure your child knows that bullying is never OK.
  • Teach your child to be a buddy, not a bully.
  • Set firm and consistent limits on your child’s aggressive behavior.
  • Ask your child how they would feel if the tables were turned, and they were subject to torment.
  • Teach empathy for other children by asking them to consider how the other child feels.
  • Be a positive role model. Show children they can get what they want without teasing, threatening, or hurting someone.
  • Use effective, non-physical discipline, such as loss of privileges.
  • Praise your child when their actions are positive, such as helping or being kind to others.
  • Develop practical solutions with the school principal, teachers, school social workers or psychologists, and parents of the children your child has bullied.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS A BYSTANDER

Witnessing a bully torment a friend or classmate can be frightening for any child. Be sure you and your child talk about bullying so they understand that it may happen, and what to do if they witness it.

  • Practice with your child how to find and tell a trusted adult about what is happening or has happened. Knowing what to say in advance will be helpful when/if the need arises.
  • Encourage your child to join with others in telling bullies to stop.
  • Help your child support other children who have been or may be bullied. Making friends with these kids and including them in activities will make them feel less alone and know they have a friend they can count on.

For more information or assistance, please reach out to these resources:

Let’s work together to keep our kids safe!

 

Be Cool At The Pool

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Be Cool At The Pool illustrated by cool water and pink flamingo floatie

Summertime….and the livin’ is easy…especially if there’s a sparkling pool where you can chill on a hot day. But chillin’ only happens when everyone is mindful of their own behavior and are kind to fellow chillers. So here are some guidelines on how to Be Cool At The Pool.

Running, jumping, diving, pushing, roughhousing, and/or weapons are the epitome of uncool.
Activities that may send you – or someone else – to the ER are off limits and totally uncool.

Be cool about saved chairs.
Sorry, lounge chair monitors. Saving a seat around the pool is just fine – within reason. Respect that a chair with a towel is taken. But chair savers need to be respectful of others too. It’s not cool to save yourself a seat hours ahead of time, save an entire umbrella table for just yourself, or save half a dozen chairs. Only use chair space you need for sitting; your stuff doesn’t need a seat. Looking for a great pool towel that’s beautiful, dries quickly and takes up very little space in your pool tote? Click here.

Shower before getting in the pool.
No one wants a layer of another person’s body grime floating around the pool. Rinse off in the shower before taking a dip, especially if you’ve been running or working outside all day. If you’re sick or have an open wound? You know what to do – stay out of the pool entirely.

Dress appropriately.
Yes, we all noticed you spent all winter working on your beach bod. But, no one wants to see your downstairs outline or extreme cleavage, especially when there are kids around. Be respectful, dress confidently but modestly, and keep the G-string and banana hammock for the beach. Be cool at the pool; save street wear for the street and wear swimwear to swim. Wear pool shoes or flip-flops everywhere in the pool area (except in the water) and in the restrooms.

If it’s breakable, leave it home.
Glass of any kind and other breakable items are strictly prohibited. Folks will be barefoot for heaven’s sake! Choose from one of a boatload of uber cool, environmentally safe non-breakable drinking vessels and beverage carriers instead.

Keep your music to yourself, use your indoor voice, and watch your language.
It’s nice that you love your music and want to share with the world, but the world didn’t ask. Keep the tunes low enough so only you can hear, or wear ear buds. If someone asks you to turn down your music, do it. Some venues do not allow audible music, so check the rules and be sure to bring your headphones (check out waterproof headphones here) or waterproof earbuds.

Follow established pool rules.
All pools will post rules somewhere along the fence or on the gate doors stating what is permitted and prohibited at the pool, safety rules, and pool hours. These rules apply to everyone including you, your family, and your guests.

Clean up after yourself, you animal.
Bringing snacks and refreshments are usually allowed at most apartment pools (no glass of any kind ever). But don’t abuse the privilege by leaving wrappers, food, cans, and trash around your seating area. Be cool at the pool and keep things clean around you by making frequent trips to the garbage/recycling.

Spray with caution.
Many people prefer the spray over lotion sunscreens of easy application. While SPF is a must, spraying everyone around you is not. To contain the contents and mist, spray in your hand and apply where needed. If you must spray, walk to an area away from others to spray. Click here for the best sunscreens of 2023.

Keep the gate key or gate code to yourself.
Your community’s pool is a private pool for you and your neighbors. Inviting friends over for a swim is totally acceptable (provided you follow the guidelines for guests), but giving your access key or pool code out to everyone you know is not – and you may be violating terms of your lease.

Let kids have fun safely.
Splashing and screaming is second nature to children, but you and your kids still have to be courteous and considerate of other pool-goers. If your kids start to get rowdy, run at the pool, or get overzealous with the splashing, have them take a break until they have calmed down.

Don’t take your eyes off your kids because this could allow annoying behavior (everyone wants and deserves a peaceful environment) and potentially be very dangerous.  Know your kids’ swimming ability and be with them at all times. You birthed ‘em; you’re responsible. Here’s a great article about kids and pool safety.

Be nice.
Be cool at the pool; treat others with kindness and courtesy so everyone has a good experience in and around the swimming pool and sun deck.

Now get out there all you cool cats and enjoy some fun in the sun, tanning, swimming, and chillin’ poolside.

 

 

 

Laundry Room Etiquette

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Oh no they didn’t…!

“I want my laundry day to go that ^^^ way!” said no one ever. Laundry is a chore even when you’re fortunate to have a washer and dryer in your home. But doing laundry in a shared laundry facility – whether a public laundromat or apartment community laundry center – adds an additional layer of things that can make this chore even less fun. From the wait for machines, to unkind or rude fellow launderers, to noisy kids, to blatant disrespect for you, your stuff, and the place – whew. It makes you wish we could all just spray on our clothes or be naked all the time, right?

So what can we do to make this task less tedious for everyone? Well, you could always pay someone to wash your clothes for you. But, if like most of us, you’d rather spend your money on a long weekend in Florida, a shopping spree to jump start your spring wardrobe, or just a nice dinner out with adult beverages, let’s establish some Emily Post-ish laundry room etiquette we can all use. Typically, laundry etiquette can be tossed out like an old dryer sheet, especially in a communal setting. Whether you’re an apartment newbie or an experienced renter, sometimes airing your dirty laundry in a public space can leave everyone’s patience stuck in the spin cycle.

Be prepared.  Yes, channel your inner Boy or Girl Scout and be prepared:

  • Sorting your stuff before you leave your apartment.
  • Pre-treat stains in advance so you won’t need to lug an extra product with you.
  • Check your pockets for loose change, that winning lotto ticket, tissues, or anything else that you’ll regret washing.
  • Get enough quarters to wash and dry all your loads.

Be courteous. Hello Emily Post, and Philip Galanes.

  • Don’t play Monopoly with the machines; in other words, don’t hog them all or leave your stuff in them after the cycle is complete.
  • Set a timer on your phone if you go to errands, go for a coffee, or go for a brisk walk. Washing a load of laundry typically takes 30 to 40 minutes, and drying takes 45 minutes to an hour. Time yourself to return before the cycle ends.
  • If someone else’s clothes are sitting in a stopped machine unattended for more than five minutes (10 if you’re exceptionally kind), move them with care. Neatly place the clothes on a clean surface above or near the machine. If rolling carts are available, you could place the clothes in one. Do not place the clothes in a dryer (clothes are easy to ruin, and you don’t want to be responsible for the shrinkage of their merino wool sweater) and certainly don’t place them on the floor (unless you want to be forever known as “that a$$hole).
  • Clean the lint screen after using the dryer. Shared lint = ew.
  • Use the appropriate amounts of detergent, bleach, or fabric softener so as to not leave soap or bleach residue which could affect the next person’s load of laundry. They also might be allergic to your detergent or have a thing for some scents.

Be clean.  I know, your there to clean, but people can be dirty while simultaneously trying to be clean. To wit:

  • Wipe up, rinse, and dry any and all spills.
  • Toss empty detergent, bleach, fabric softener, and stain remover containers in the trash can.
  • Toss used fabric softener sheets in the trash.
  • Toss lint from your dryer in the trash.
  • Don’t bring you cat or dog to keep you company especially if they shed.
  • Don’t throw everyday trash in the laundry room bins especially if that trash is food-related garbage.

Be mindful. Most people don’t enjoy doing laundry, but you can improve the experience for everyone by staying in a good mood and being polite.

  • Offer to help anyone struggling to use the equipment or fold that king-size fitted sheet (here’s how).
  • Resist the urge to gaze deeply at someone else’s underthings.
  • Use headphones or earbuds to enjoy music, a video, or a podcast.
  • Leave the room to take or make a call. No one wants to listen to a one-sided conversation.
  • Make sure there are seat for everyone by not filling seats with your supplies, coat, purse, or backpack.
  • If you bring your kids along, keep them as quiet as possible and seated. Tough, I know!

SUPPLIES YOU’LL NEEED

.When it comes to lugging laundry, smaller is better!

  • Fill a smaller container from your larger detergent or bleach bottle to reduce carrying weight.
  • Take a small laundry basket to leave on or next to your machine. That way, there’s a place for your stuff if someone need to move them after the cycle ends. Did you know that the big blue bag from IKEA makes a great laundry basket? It folds flat for each storage and it’s easy to carry with the dual shoulder straps. The bag is also virtually indestructible and cheap. If you don’t live near an IKEA 1) I’m sorry and 2) you can get one on Amazon!
  • Payment method. Your laundry room may use cards you can pre-load, so make sure you bring that and a payment method along to reload your card if needed. If the machines still take coins, save a trip back to your apartment (or the bank!?!) by bringing double the number you expect to use.

So there you have it. A few simple suggestions about laundry room etiquette that will make this chore less annoying. Now go separate your colors from your whites, grab some detergent and some quarters, and get that pile of dirty clothes washed, dried, folded, and put away. You got this!

 

 

Eggs-actly Perfect

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Eggs-actly Perfect Hard Boiled Eggs

Sure, sure hard boiling eggs seems like a fairly simple task. Boil, peel, and eat. Until, that is, you discover they are almost impossible to peel with the shell taking chunks of the white flesh with it. Or the yolk is unappetizingly undercooked or has an unsightly greenish edge.  All equate to big fails when trying to make deviled eggs where the white is a beautiful vessel for luscious filling.

There are hard-boiled eggs in my house at all times. Not only do they make an easy (and transportable) quick breakfast, but they are also a healthy, low-calorie snack full of protein, and tasty addition to salads. (We eat a lot of salad in the summer when I just can’t bear heating up the kitchen.) Plus, whipping up a batch of deviled eggs to bring to a spontaneous picnic or cocktail party is a breeze.

After boiling literally hundreds of eggs over the years, I’ve [finally] found a method that produces eggs with perfectly firm whites, creamy yolks that are a lovely consistent shade of pale yellow and, most importantly, easy to peel.

You’ll need:

  • six to 12 large eggs (older eggs ultimately peer better than fresh ones)
  • a pot – large enough to hold a steamer basket – with a lid
  • afore-mentioned steamer basket
  • a large bowl filled with ice and water
  • a timer

Pour and inch or two of water into the pot, insert the steamer, and add the eggs. Heat over high. When the water begins to boil, reduce to medium, cover, and cook for precisely 15 minutes.

While the eggs are steaming, fill your bowl with ice and add water. Your bowl should be large enough to hold all the eggs and allow them to be fully submerged in the ice water.

When the timer goes off, immediately transfer the eggs from the steamer basket to their ice water bath. Then walk away. Let the eggs soak for at least 15-20 minutes so they cool completely – right to their core. Once cool, drain and either refrigerate for later use or peel.

If you plan to use the eggs immediately, fill your now empty bowl with cool water. Peel the egg while it’s submerged. You can also peel under running water, but results are consistently better with the dunk. The shell should separate from the white of the egg in nice big pieces leaving the egg unblemished – perfect for your deviled eggs.

Deviled Eggs

Whether you choose a pretty platter (best for home use) or a  practical platter with lid (best for transport and storage), choose the number of eggs right to fill your plate. Mine has 12 indentations, so this recipe will be for a half dozen eggs yielding a dozen deviled eggs.

Deviled eggs usually call for a dash of Tabasco sauce, but I prefer the less spicy, but zestier horseradish sauce. The addition of softened butter – thank you Julia Child – adds a wonderful, rich silkiness to the yolky filling.

Traditional garnishes include a sprinkle of paprika, a slice of pimento-stuffed olive, chopped chives, or a sprig of dill, but you can kick your garnishes up to a whole new level by adding a small piece (about one inch or so) of crispy bacon, crisped prosciutto, or crisped chicken skin (pictured). These crispy bits add a lot of textural interest, flavor, and visual appeal to your eggs.

The Parts

The Procedure

Cut the eggs in half length-wise and gently scoop the yolks into a bowl or a mini food processor. Place the whites on your platter. Blend the yolks with the remaining ingredients either in a small food processor, or mash together with a fork.

For a fancy finish, use a piping bag or a zip-lock bag with the corner cut out to pipe the yolk mixture into the whites. For a homemade look, simply spoon the filling into the egg whites. Garnish.

Don’t you just love it when things turn out eggs-actly perfect? And you can enjoy your hard-boiled ot deviled eggs without egg on your face.

 

Petiquette For Perfect Pups

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Petiquette For Perfect Pups

 

If you are a pup parent, chances are you think that your pup is perfect. Mine certainly is. Seriously one of the best dogs there ever was. As hard as it is to believe for us dog lovers, however, not everyone loves dogs (GASP!) and not everyone thinks your pup is perfect (WHAT?!?). As responsible pet parents, it’s up to us to make sure that our fabulous furry friends don’t interfere with our neighbor’s right to the quiet enjoyment of their homes. Whether you reside in an apartment, condo, or single-family home, there are things you can do to help everyone love your pup as much as you do. We call it PETIQUETTE. noun. The customary code of polite pup behavior in society to ensure endless love from your friends and neighbors.

OUTDOORS

Leashes. Unless you and Rover are at the dog park, keep your pup on a leash. You know your dog like the back of your hand, but you don’t know all the other dogs, people, and events you may encounter that might trigger unusual behavior in your dog. Leashing your pup keeps him and all the other critters and peeps safe. Plus, Rover’s leash can tell the world what kind of pup he or she  is – adventure dog, princess, fashionista, bad to the bone. The possibilities are truly endless.

Poop Bags. I was just at a nice, well-maintained dog park last weekend and came home with poop on my shoe. UGH. WHY? Pay attention people! Don’t leave home without this essential and use them every time your pup poops. Dispose of the bags in a thoughtful manner – tie them up securely and place them in a designated container or common trash can. A carabiner clip on your leash can not only hold your poop bag dispenser, but also your house key, and a used poop bag. So handy if clean up duty comes mid-walk so you don’t have to swing a full bag the whole way home. Just remember to toss the bag before entering your home! Lesson learned the hard way. P.U.!!

Vaccinations. Show your pup some serious health love. Keep up on your dog’s vaccinations according to your vet’s recommendations. Don’t forget monthly heartworm treatments and flea and tick prevention. Fully vaccinated pups make for better pup friends.

Exercise. Dogs are a big-time commitment. Critical for keeping pups happy and healthy is to make sure they get regular exercise – and by regular, think several times daily. Learn more at the AKC website.

While living in an apartment, your dog is somewhat confined. He or she isn’t going to have a lot of room to run around, let out energy or play. Not only can this make little Buddy feel cooped up or frustrated, but it could also cause him to let out his energy in not-so-constructive ways (like chewing up your furniture, digging into your walls or doors, or barking).

Training and Socialization. Expose your dog to different people and settings regularly. Take him to the park, to the pet store, on a walk through town. Check out the Bring Fido app or website for a plethora of pet-friendly places that will welcome your dog. Praise him for behaving calmly around strangers and other dogs, or any other strange dog triggers. I once had a dog that had a very negative reaction to men in hats and to Siberian Huskies, but literally loved everyone and everything else. So weirdly selective.

Praise him lavishly for obeying commands and behaving well. Using positive, rather than negative, reinforcement will help your dog enjoy training.

ID Tags, License, Registration, Microchip. Be sure to get a dog license in the county where you reside. Registration fees are nominal, and the tag will help others to identify your furry friend if she decides to go on an adventure solo. Microchipping your dog is the ultimate, as a tag is removed when your dog’s collar is removed, but a microchip is there for the life of your dog. There are also sites where you can register the microchip number; again, so helpful if your dog becomes lost or stolen. Check out Home Again or Free Pet Chip Registry.

Spay, Neuter. Unless you intend to breed your pup, spay or neuter. It’s ultimately better for your dog’s health and disposition. And he really won’t miss his boy parts. Quit anthropomorphizing.

INDOORS

Control the Bark. Keep your neighbors in mind. Be courteous and consider that many people are sharing the space around your home. A dog that barks a lot will not be best received in an apartment with shared walls or a front door that is in a high traffic area. Ask your veterinarian about behavioral training if your dog is a barker. You can invest in a hand held barking deterrent, or a device that sounds when you are not at home.

Deal with Separation Anxiety. Some dogs, like my perfect pup, suffer from separation anxiety. I envisioned him being totally miserable every time I left home. Then I purchased a dog camera that allows me to see his activity on my phone and even speak to him. Turns out I was anthropomorphizing; he mostly slept after a minute of barking to let the world know he was not happy being left alone. There are even dog monitors that will allow you to remotely dispense a treat and are compatible with Alexa. Aww, way to reward your good boy or good girl.

Create a Doggie Haven. Dogs find it easier to relax and wind down if they have their own space, so make Miss Toes her own little haven in a corner of your apartment. Put a calming dog bed, a few toys, and her food and water bowls in his corner to give her a place to retreat when she needs a break. Or if she’s crate trained, make her crate as comfortable as possible. One of your used t-shirts can provide comfort, too.

Proactive Damage Prevention. Pet Proof. Even perfect pups can occasionally find it hard to resist temptation. Or get even. When Bosley came into my life, I bought him a shiny red raincoat with a yellow duck on the back. His humiliation the first time wearing it forced him to take a nice chew of my best Italian leather loafers. I learned my lesson.  So you won’t have a hard lesson to learn, move breakables or “chewables” to higher ground. Make electrical cords inaccessible to curious paws and noses. Block off any area of the house that’s off-limits. Block access to (or give away) any house plants that are toxic to dogs.

Potty walks are essential! Potty stains on the carpet, along with chewed doors, trim, and walls will present a financial issue for you when you eventually move. When your perfect pup has an accident (that was probably your fault, haha), be sure to clean it up right away using a cleaner that will remove the stain and neutralize the odor.

Playtime and Companionship. We all need a daily dose of fun for our mental health. So does Buster. In addition to outdoor exercise, Buster will love a game of toss or tug with you – his favorite thing in the whole wide world. She’ll also appreciate a play date with others of her own kind. You know, other perfect pups. A play date with a neighbor’s dog, a visit to the dog park, or an All Day Play session at your local pet retreat can work wonders. Playtime can also reduce stress-induced destructive behavior. It’s a win-win!

Good Eats, Drinks, Treats. Who doesn’t love dinner, drinks, and snacks? Of course you are going to feed and water your dog, but strategically offered snacks can encourage and reward the best pup behavior as pups tend to prefer treats over good boy stickers.

Groom. Fur sheds. Hair grows. Whichever you pup possesses needs frequent attention. If you opt to brush outside to avoid a mountain of fur inside, do so a respectful distance from your neighbors and common area, and bag up the inevitable mountain of fluff for the rubbish bin. Be sure to keep fur cleaned up from your carpets whether you brush indoors or out.

Find a Sitter. A sitter can be heaven-sent in terms of keeping your pup happy when you’re away working or having (GASP!) a life outside of your dog. Check out local dog resorts for day care or boarding, or Rover or Wag! for pet sitting or walking.

So, so many things to do and see to as a perfect pup parent, right? But aren’t they worth the effort? And won’t it be just grand when your neighbor welcomes your furry friend with some scritches (maybe ones even good enough to get that back leg going) instead of a harsh glare.

 

RESOURCES: Pet Safe, American Veterinary Medical Association, American Kennel Club, Apartment Guide, Human Animal Support Services

 

Neighborly Neighbors

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Neighbors Meeting Neighbors

I’ve lived in many places over the course of my life. I’ve lived in many kinds of places, too. Apartments, condos, and single-family homes both in urban and suburban neighborhoods. I’ve lived in these places as single person, with a roommate, and as part of a family. In the suburban neighborhood in which I currently reside, a place I’ve called home for three years, neighbors are folks I wave to and occasionally have a brief conversation with – usually about the weather. I know what kinds of cars they drive, if they have kids and/or dogs, and if they do their own yardwork. It’s fine, but there’s no real sense of community, of belonging. It can be a bit lonely, especially if my partner is travelling, and my friends are busy.

I hadn’t thought about it too much, until I learned the story of a friend’s daughter who moved from her city apartment in another state to her childhood home in the suburbs to settle her father’s estate. She’d not lived in the house for a decade, and many of the neighbors had changed since she lived there last.  She was there alone, but within months, knew all the neighbors, their kids, and their pets by name. And she could count on several of these neighbors to give her a lift somewhere (being a city girl, she’d never learned to drive), check for packages left on the front porch, pet sit her dog, keep an eye on her house when she traveled, or join her for a glass of wine. And she would babysit their kids and watch their pups. Before heading back to her city apartment for the holidays, she delivered homemade treats to all these new friends.

Which kind of neighbor are you? Do you know your neighbors? Do you want to know your neighbors? After comparing my most recent neighbor experience to that of my friend’s daughter, I found myself a bit envious. Although I am an introvert, the idea of having people nearby who could do more that nod their head in passing has great appeal. According to NPR’s Life Kit podcast, a 2018 Pew Research study found that roughly a quarter of adults under 30 report that they don’t know any of their neighbors. So I am not alone!

Research says that there’s a sense of comfort and safety that can come with knowing your neighbors — and building a safe and caring community is a valuable way to stay connected to the place you live. So how exactly does one go about becoming neighborly?

Say More Than Hi

Get out of your comfort zone and make an effort to learn the names of your neighbors, what they do for a living, if they have kids or pets. Not only is this a great first step in getting to know them, it a great frist step in know how to be the kind of neighbor they will appreciate. You’ll know if there are times you need to keep the volume down because of their work schedule or baby’s sleep schedule. And if you are respectful of their needs, they will probably reciprocate.  If you feel comfortable, let them know that you’re there to help, if they ever need another hand.

It doesn’t take a lot of money or a grand gesture to be a good neighbor. You don’t have to show up with a fresh apple pie (although that would be awesome). It’s truly as simple as saying hello, introducing yourself and asking an open-ended question. If all your neighbors have been around for a while, this may feel like an awkward activity, but can be easily resolved with a simple conversation opener like, “Hey, neighbor! We’ve shared a wall for months, but I don’t even know your name. I’m John; what’s your name?”

Practice Small Kind Gestures

Life Kit suggests that another way to take care of your neighborhood, and to show your neighbors that you care, is by making small acts of kindness a daily practice. Even apartment dwellers can get in on this concept by picking up litter, cleaning up missed pet poop, or bringing your neighbor’s package up from the mailroom. Maybe you can offer to pick up mail, walk a dog, or pick up milk and bread for a neighbor who is ill, or a new parent who is harried.

Being Connected Feels Good

Life Kit goes on to say, “It can feel so easy to just go home, close your door and turn on the TV without having to make small talk, but connecting with others is worth the effort. As nerve-wracking as it is, reaching out to new people can actually boost your mood in the long run. According to an article by Emma Seppälä, “social connectedness … generates a positive feedback loop of social, emotional and physical well-being.”

This can be the first step in the concept of Paying It Forward we’ve all heard about. Marta Zaraska, who is the author of Growing Young: How Friendship, Optimism and Kindness Can Help You Live to 100, shares that once in 2013, “there was an instance in Winnipeg at a local Tim Hortons, where one driver decided to pay for the meal or the coffee of the driver behind him at the drive-thru. And that driver was so grateful, he decided to pay for the driver behind him.” According to reports on this incident, the chain of kindness went on for more than 200 drivers! This phenomenon continues onto this day. How can you incorporate this idea into being a better neighbor?

Expand Your People Horizons

It’s easy to stay within our comfort zone, keep our heads down, and avoid interaction with those who live near us. As kids we’re taught about “stranger danger”; perhaps mistrustfulness of folks we don’t know is a carryover from our youth. But taking the initiative to know your neighbors can have so many benefits. It can open the door to easing conflicts such as loud music, stomping, barking dogs, etc. as these kinds of issues are always more easily resolved with a friendly conversation than getting management involved. It could also lead to making new friends.

Check Your Bias

Looking out for your neighbors is an important part of creating a sense of community. But, as Life Kit points out, “before you go all “neighborhood watch” on someone, if something is making you feel unsafe, take a deeper look at the power dynamics at play: Why do you feel like someone doesn’t fit in?” If you are inclined to report someone to management, or call the police, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable and unsafe, rather than putting the blame on your neighbors. Getting to know your neighbors and taking care of your community are valuable ways to feel safer in your community. Even if your goal is not to make friends with those who live around you, it’s important to treat everyone with respect and care.

And you never know, new friends and better neighbors can be right next door.

 

 

Staying Safe in Summertime Heat

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Hot summer sun causing heat wave

Hot Sun in the Summertime

Unlike Sly and The Family Stone’s Hot Fun In The Summertime, a heat wave is no fun. The extreme heat of this summer can take all the fun out of the season if we’re not careful. Let’s chat about staying safe in this summer’s heat.

But first, some background. I grew up in a small ranch-style house in northern New Jersey without air conditioning. On hot summer nights, my brother, sister, and I would sleep – or try to – on folding lounge chairs on the back patio; sometimes our friends from next door would join us in a make-shift pajama party. The huge oak tree next to the patio made us feel like we were under a leafy cathedral ceiling. We used pieces of cardboard to fan ourselves while trying to find the Big Dipper and the North Star until we finally dozed.

My folks had a box fan in one of their bedroom windows, and dad had it set to pull the hot air out of the room. To keep their room as cool as possible, their door was kept shut and the curtains were pulled. Drapes were drawn in rest of the house too, and the windows kept shut to keep out the heat and hot air. Hot summer days in the house were dark, close, and still; hot summer nights were dark and still as well and the quiet was disturbed only by the drone of mosquitos and rhythmic call of katydids.

My 87-year-old mother has lived her entire life in homes without air conditioning, and actually has trouble adjusting to air conditioned environments. But, with the extreme heat the entire country is experiencing this summer, she’s here with me in my air conditioned Kentucky home.

Despite the access to AC, this unprecedented heat wave presents other challenges to keeping our cool and enjoying the summer. What do we watch out for, how do we keep safe, and how can we still have hot fun in the summertime?

What to watch out for

 Health risks associated with heat exposure can range from milder conditions such as heat cramps to heat strokes, which can be fatal. Let’s get familiar with the symptoms of heat-related illnesses to head off potential problems.

  • Mild dehydration and heat cramps — muscle pain or spasms — may be early signs that your body is not reacting well to the environment, said Matthew Levy, an associate professor of emergency medicine at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.
  • Heat exhaustion symptoms are more worrisome. These can include heavy sweating, elevated heart rate, nausea and vomiting, headaches, dizziness, fatigue and generally feeling unwell. Some people who are experiencing heat exhaustion might also faint. “This is where things are getting dangerous fast,” Levy said.
  • If heat exhaustion is left untreated, it may progress to heat stroke, which means the body’s core temperature has reached the point where cellular damage may start to occur.
    • The key feature of heat stroke is central nervous system dysfunction – confusion and possible seizures.
    • Another sign is lack of sweat. A dry person who’s not thinking clearly is at big risk and should seek help ASAP.

 How to stay safe

  •  Keep cool and hydrated.
  • Stay in spaces with air conditioning. If you only have a fan, experts recommend misting yourself with a spray bottle of cold water.
  • Spend time at indoor public places such as malls or libraries.
  • Go to a park, which can be five to 10 degrees cooler than indoor space.
  • When outdoors, dress in loose, lightweight, light-colored clothing and protect yourself from the sun with hats, sunglasses and sunscreen.
  • Drink plenty of water, but don’t guzzle it; drinking too much water could cause a potentially fatal condition known as hyponatremia.
  • Don’t drink excessive amounts of alcohol or caffeine, both of which can be dehydrating. A good way to know whether you’re adequately hydrated is to pay attention to the color of your urine. Dark yellow is not good; very pale yellow or clear is ideal.
  • Limit outdoor exercise to less intense workouts, and do them early in the morning or in the evenings.

 Who is at increased risk?

 Although anyone can be negatively affected by hotter temperatures if they’re not careful, certain populations are more vulnerable, including the elderly, young children, athletes, people who have chronic medical conditions, pregnant people and those who may be struggling with mental health issues.

If you know anyone who might be at increased risk, check in on them during heat waves and make sure they’re equipped to stay safe.

  • Invite an elderly relative to stay with you (like me and my mom!).
  • Help someone get to a community cooling center.
  • Stop by people’s homes to make sure their air conditioners are working or to bring them cold drinks.
  • NEVER leave young children or pets in cars on hot days, even if the windows are open.
  • Pets are at risk, too! Click here for tips on keeping your pet safe in the summer.

 What to do if you or someone else is sick from the heat

  •  Get into a cooler environment — preferably some place with air conditioning — as quickly as possible.
  • Lower the body’s core temperature by removing clothing and wetting skin with cold water.
  • Hydrate with cold fluids, such as water or electrolyte drinks.
  • For more severe problems like heat stroke, seek medical help immediately.
    • While waiting for assistance to arrive, it’s critical to take action. Get the person out of the heat and either into air conditioning or shade. The fastest way to cool someone down in an urgent situation is cold-water immersion — the colder, the better. If that’s not possible, pour cold water on the person’s head and clothing.

Ideas to have fun despite the heat

  • Go to a pool in your community if available. Bring water in non-glass containers.
  • Visit your neighborhood library or indoor shopping mall
  • Go the movies
  • Visit a local museum
  • Stay inside and read a good book
  • Eat ice cream
  • Go bowling
  • Try an escape room

Above all, remember that cool fun in the autumn-time will be here before you know it.

How about another shameless plug for our hard-working team of Fath Properties service professionals who are always there to keep your place cool so you can Love The Place You Live?

Resources: Washington Post, CDC

Don’t Be Them

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Frowning Mom and Son Sit on Couch with Closed Eyes and Plugged Ears from Upstairs Noise

What’s Going On Up There?!?

As an apartment dweller, you share at least one wall with another resident. And, you probably hear your neighbor from time to time. It’s to be expected. Have you ever seen the video Everyone’s Upstairs Neighbor? Back when it was created, The Washington Post wrote:

            Chances are what’s causing the movements of humans above you to sound like a giant’s conga line is a thin or poorly-insulated ceiling. But when the thumping begins at all the wrong times, you know you can’t help but wonder: are they doing that on purpose?

The experience is universal enough that when comedy writer Matt Moskovciak pretended the answer was yes, it’s on purpose, he created the most successful online video of his career.

Of course the video is hilariously exaggerated, but it does make one wonder: “Is that how I sound to my neighbors?” Yikes.

Keeping that in mind, strive to be the neighbor you wish you would always have.

  • Offer a smile and a wave to your neighbors when you see them.
  • Step outside your apartment and listen to the volume of your music, TV, gaming, etc. If you can hear it, bet your neighbors can, too. Consider using headphones after 10:00 PM and before 9:00 AM if you like to pump up the volume.
  • Planning to throw a party? Let your neighbors know what to expect and for how long – and perhaps extend them an invitation to join in the fun.

These simple steps can go a long way toward shared enjoyment of life in your apartment building and apartment community.

On the other hand, what can you do if it’s your neighbors making too much noise and commotion on their side of the wall? The simplest (though not always easiest) solution is to knock on their door and ask them to keep down any noise that they can control (electronics, a barking dog, etc.). You can explain you need your sleep, that you’re working from home, etc. A heart-to-heart with your neighbor will always be better received than getting management involved. But if you are faint of heart, another option is to contact your management company and ask them to issue a general email to all residents about noise. This keeps you (or your neighbor) from being singled out, but ideally will get the message across. If that fails, you can have your management company contact your neighbor directly, without implicating you. A good set of ear plugs and a white noise machine or app on your phone can also work wonders.

Be a great neighbor and get one in return. Without the bowling balls.